I Am Regaining My Weight - I'm So Sick Of Having To Give Things Up

Hi Carol
I purchased your "Lose Weight Without Willpower" CD and I would like your input on some things I am experiencing.

My weight issue has been going on for many years now, although about 4 years ago I went on a serious diet and lost 21KG and was able to maintain my weight for about 18 months, after which the wheels slowly started falling off and I am now 13kg's up. I now find it rather difficult to do.

This morning after doing a tapping session about my weight I suddenly got very emotional and realized that my biggest problem is that I am so sick and tired of always having to give things up. Not only with losing weight but with wanting material things etc.

Throughout my life I have always had to forfeit that which I want due to circumstances and have gotten to the point where I realizee that what I want is not important.

It seems as if as soon as I start achieving I will do whatever to undo it. For example I will lose a kg or two and then will go and eat a chocolate or chips etc and put the weight back on again. As soon as I start making headway in my business then I stop what I'm doing that's working and find something else to do.

I want to be able to lose the weight without having to go on a diet, without having to give up eating the way I normally do and without having to give up what I enjoy. Is that possible? I don't think so.
 
Regards
Paula

Hi Paula,
 
Feelings of deprivation are one of the biggest causes of self sabotage. EFT has assisted you in identifying a core issue that is interfering with your ability to maintain weight loss (and success in other areas). As soon as you are successful, it brings back old feelings of deprivation. There is likely some other belief or feeling that conflicts with your ability to grow your business successfully too, or it could be a similar feeling, such as resentment at having to "give up" your time to grow your business, or a belief that the success won't last.

Success is associated with deprivation in your mind. You believe you will have to keep depriving yourself in order to maintain it.
 
The key is tapping on all of those beliefs and feelings until you make some headway and are able to establish some new beliefs that allow you to move forward and maintain the progress that you make without sabotaging it.  You have put a lot of time and effort into discovering these issues, so now is the time to change them.
 
Can you lose weight without going on a diet? Absolutely. I recommend it (see http://www.StressEating.com)
 
Can you lose weight without giving up how you normally eat? Probably not - some changes will be required. It's that old adage that if you keep doing things the same way, you are going to get the same results.

Can you lose weight without "feeling" deprived? Yes!

"Feeling" deprived and "being" deprived are 2 entirely different things.
 
Can you lose weight without giving up the foods you love? Of course!
 
The problem is that once you lose weight by dieting, it becomes much easier to regain the weight and harder to keep it off (because your body thinks it's starving).
 
So some changes will be required, but that doesn't mean they have to be painful or trigger feelings of deprivation. The core emotional issue needs to be worked on so that you weaken the association between success and deprivation (Even though I don't want to accept that I have to change . . . Even though I don't want to give anything up . . . Even though I am so tired of forfeiting what I want . . . )
 
Right now, there is a little 5-year-old inside you that is sick and tired of not having what she wants, and she is stamping her feet! So there is a delicate balance to be found with making healthy choices and not triggering a tantrum.
 
My advice?
 
Keep tapping, keep identifying the issues, accept what you get, and find a way to recognize, celebrate and honor the 5 year old inside.

Comments

[Tove]

How is this for "borrowing benefits" and "finding an issue" all in one?
I have been tapping like crazy for my craving for chocolates and sweets, and then I found the article by Horst Benesch about a woman at one of his workshops, who said "that is because my mother never had nursed me!" BINGO! I happen to know, that my mother also never could nurse me….
Well, I started tapping on the karate chop point, and at the second repeat of the above phrase I had this sudden intake of breath, and I thought – this is it! I continued the round, and my longing for chocolate and sweets has left me, even though I could quite easily just help myself to my stock of sweets. I just don't seem to want it anymore -- at my age of 74...
Wow! What a pleasure! I thank you once again for making this wonderful information available to so many people, and I suppose we should also thank computers and the internet, while we are about it??
But most of all I thank the Good Lord who knows, what we need.
Kind regards
Tove van der Poll

[Carol]

Thanks for sharing your story Tove! That's amazing! And good for you for being persistent with EFT!