Stop Sabotaging Your Weight Loss With EFT

Are you sabotaging your weight loss over and over again?

How often does what you do align with what you say you want?

There seems to be no limit to the ways that we undo our good intentions.

In today’s show, you will learn:

  • what causes self-sabotage and what you can do to stop it
  • why it feels like different parts pulling us in different directions, and
  • how to bridge the knowing – doing gap.

We’ll be using imagery to access the subconscious mind (the seat of habits) to help you lose weight without getting in your own way.

WHEN: Thursday, April 5th

TIME: 12 noon Eastern

CALL-IN NUMBER: (347) 215-6833

Carol Solomon, Ph.D. MCC, is a Psychologist, Master Certified Coach and Certified EFT Practitioner. She is one of the world’s leading experts in EFT For Weight Loss. She is the author of How To Stop Food Cravings and Lose Weight With EFT, the EFT Tips newsletter, the Binge Eating Teleseminar and the EFT Weight Loss CD.

CONTACT Dr. Solomon to schedule a private session.

Is It Safe To Lose Weight?

Hi Everyone,

Carol Solomon, PhD successfully focuses on an important issue for her binge-eating client. Note both the background story and the language details. Please consult physicians on all medical issues.

Gary Craig (Originally published on Emofree.com)

By Carol Solomon, PhD

Dear Gary,

Sue was a binge eater who seemed to sabotage herself at every turn. She tried everything and lost weight many times, only to gain it back and more. She described her eating as being “like a runaway train. She ate to relieve stress. She ate to celebrate. She ate for every emotion she ever felt. And she felt like a failure.

Continue reading

I Am Regaining My Weight – I’m So Sick Of Having To Give Things Up

Hi Carol
I purchased your “Lose Weight Without Willpower” CD and I would like your input on some things I am experiencing.

My weight issue has been going on for many years now, although about 4 years ago I went on a serious diet and lost 21KG and was able to maintain my weight for about 18 months, after which the wheels slowly started falling off and I am now 13kg’s up. I now find it rather difficult to do.

This morning after doing a tapping session about my weight I suddenly got very emotional and realized that my biggest problem is that I am so sick and tired of always having to give things up. Not only with losing weight but with wanting material things etc.

Throughout my life I have always had to forfeit that which I want due to circumstances and have gotten to the point where I realize that what I want is not important.

It seems as if as soon as I start achieving I will do whatever to undo it. For example I will lose a kg or two and then will go and eat a chocolate or chips etc and put the weight back on again. As soon as I start making headway in my business then I stop what I’m doing that’s working and find something else to do.

I want to be able to lose the weight without having to go on a diet, without having to give up eating the way I normally do and without having to give up what I enjoy. Is that possible? I don’t think so.

Regards
Paula

Hi Paula,

Feelings of deprivation are one of the biggest causes of self sabotage. EFT has assisted you in identifying a core issue that is interfering with your ability to maintain weight loss (and success in other areas). As soon as you are successful, it brings back old feelings of deprivation. There is likely some other belief or feeling that conflicts with your ability to grow your business successfully too, or it could be a similar feeling, such as resentment at having to “give up” your time to grow your business, or a belief that the success won’t last.

Success is associated with deprivation in your mind. You believe you will have to keep depriving yourself in order to maintain it.

The key is tapping on all of those beliefs and feelings until you make some headway and are able to establish some new beliefs that allow you to move forward and maintain the progress that you make without sabotaging it.  You have put a lot of time and effort into discovering these issues, so now is the time to change them.

Can you lose weight without going on a diet? Absolutely. I recommend it (see http://StressEating.com)

Can you lose weight without giving up how you normally eat? Probably not – some changes will be required. It’s that old adage that if you keep doing things the same way, you are going to get the same results.

Can you lose weight without “feeling” deprived? Yes!

“Feeling” deprived and “being” deprived are 2 entirely different things.

Can you lose weight without giving up the foods you love? Of course!

The problem is that once you lose weight by dieting, it becomes much easier to regain the weight and harder to keep it off (because your body thinks it’s starving).

So some changes will be required, but that doesn’t mean they have to be painful or trigger feelings of deprivation. The core emotional issue needs to be worked on so that you weaken the association between success and deprivation (Even though I don’t want to accept that I have to change . . . Even though I don’t want to give anything up . . . Even though I am so tired of forfeiting what I want . . . )

Right now, there is a little 5-year-old inside you that is sick and tired of not having what she wants, and she is stamping her feet! So there is a delicate balance to be found with making healthy choices and not triggering a tantrum.

My advice?

Keep tapping, keep identifying the issues, accept what you get, and find a way to recognize, celebrate and honor the 5 year old inside.

Are You Honoring Yourself?

Sometimes you feel resistance to doing what you think you *should* do. While self sabotage can occur for many reasons (read chapter 10 in Lose Weight With EFT), it's always frustrating to undo your hard work.

This can come from a feeling deep inside that you aren't worthy of getting to the goal. If you know in your heart that a healthy diet, more exercise, having a difficult conversation, setting a boundary or taking more time for yourself is truly in your best interest, then you may need to learn to honor yourself more.

Continue reading

EFT Weight Loss Tips: Getting Unstuck

Releasing weight with or without EFT can be really frustrating. Even when you are doing everything right, the body sometimes says “NO.”

There can be a lot of reasons for this stuckness. You may be sabotaging your weight loss unintentionally by eating “just enough” to prevent you from losing weight.

You may be fooling yourself about how much you are eating, or how little you are exercising. You may need to get off sugar.

Or something about being thin may not feel “safe.” Part of you is rebelling against your own good intentions.

Whatever the reason, persistent tapping may be required to counteract frustrating and discouraging feelings. The “reasons” will probably reveal themselves spontaneously when you tap. Then you can tap on those directly.

And don’t worry if they don’t make logical sense. Emotions are not logical! Here’s a few statements to help you get unstuck and stay motivated:

Even though I feel stuck, I love and accept myself completely.

Even though I’m really stuck, I love and believe in myself.

Even though I’m stuck, I give myself permission to release this weight.

Sometimes I like to alternate negative statements with positive, affirming statements:

Feeling stuck
I love and accept myself
This stuck feeling
I love and believe in myself
I’m so discouraged!
I love and believe in myself completely
I feel so stuck!
I give myself permission to release this weight

Tap In the positive:

I love and believe in myself
I release all doubt and fear
I give myself permission to lose this weight
I can handle whatever comes, even though my life may change
I deserve to release this weight
I am grateful for releasing this weight
I am fully capable of releasing this weight
I love and believe in myself completely

How Mary’s Self Sabotage Kept Her From Slimming Down

Mary wanted to lose weight, but she kept sabotaging herself. Being a gifted and highly skilled therapist, Mary understood the reasons. When she was a child, Mary’s mother saw Mary as a competitor. Her mother was constantly obsessed with Mary’s body, pressuring her to eat and then hounding her to lose weight. By age 9, Mary was compulsively overeating and afraid to lose her mother’s approval. Mary’s mother scrutinized everything she ate and began bringing her to diet doctors by age 11, even though she was never grossly overweight.

Mary was constantly criticized. By age 16, her mother would say things to her, like “you look like an oak tree – your legs look like tree trunks.” Obsessed with her own weight, her mother was full of rage and envy toward Mary anytime she would achieve success. Mary feared for her life.

Even though Mary understood that it was her mother’s issue, it still affected her well into adulthood. Mary was afraid of losing her mother’s love, afraid to be successful and afraid to lose weight. Pleasing mom meant staying heavier than her. She tried to avoid compliments or praise, and sabotaged her own success because it didn’t feel safe. Her mother continually gave her intense mixed messages about food, weight and success.
“If I lost weight, she would stuff me with food and then scream at me for eating. If I didn’t eat, she’d say – you didn’t like my food!” It wasn’t ok to be thinner or smarter or to outshine her mother in any way. As a result, if Mary did lose weight or if anything was going well, she would feel guilty and undo it. If she had a perfect eating day, for instance, she would “overeat at night to wipe out the goodness of the day.”

Even now as an adult, if something goes well, she expects an onslaught of criticism and punishment to follow success.

Even though it’s not OK to lose weight, I deeply love and accept myself.
Even though it’s not safe to change, I love and accept myself completely.
Even though it’s not OK with mom and it doesn’t feel safe to me, I accept myself anyway.

Eyebrow: It’s really scary to change
Side of Eye: it’s too scary to lose weight
Under the Eye: I’d lose my mom
Under the Nose: She’d be angry
Chin: I can see by the look on her face
Collarbone: It would be too scary
Under the Arm: It’s dangerous
Top of Head: I’m afraid she’ll kill me
Eyebrow: It’s not ok to outshine her or any other woman
Side of Eye: It’s too scary to get thin
Under the Eye: She wants me to get thin
Under the Nose: But not really . . .
Chin: It keeps me stuck
Collarbone: And I’m sabotaging myself
Under the Arm: It’s too scary to be successful
Top of Head: It holds me back
Eyebrow: I’m not supposed to look good
Side of Eye: I like the attention and I don’t like the attention (she laughs)
Under the Eye: I want to lose weight and I don’t want to lose weight
Under the Nose: Isn’t that the truth?
Chin: I hate admitting that!
Collarbone: I feel stupid and it’s not ok to be smart
Under the Arm: It’s not ok to be in the limelight
Top of Head: It’s not ok to get attention
Note: It’s often helpful to tap on the specific words that were said.
Eyebrow: She said I look like an oak tree
Side of Eye: She said my legs look like tree trunks
Under the Eye: That hurt
Under the Nose: I know that she had her own problems
Chin: And it’s time to let this heal
Collarbone: I’m ready to let go of all this . . . all of these issues . . . all of these emotions . . . all of this stuckness . . . all of this sabotage
Under the Arm: It might even be ok to lose a little weight
Top of Head: What if it was ok to look good and be smart, even if mom didn’t approve?
Eyebrow: She could criticize me and that’s her issue
Side of Eye: I’ve decided not to compete
Under the Eye: I’ve decided to remove myself from competition
Under the Nose: I don’t want to take anything away from her
Chin: It’s all she has
Collarbone: Maybe it’s not such a big issue anymore
Under the Arm: I want to lose weight for my health and for my self-confidence and not sabotage it . . . not be worried about mom.
Top of Head: I’m ready to release this weight
Eyebrow: I’m tired of being stuck
Side of Eye: I’m ready to allow my success
Under the Eye: I deserve to allow my success
Under the Nose: I want to feel safe around other women
Chin: Even if I show my smarts
Collarbone: Even if I look darned good
Under the Arm: I can just enjoy it and not have to worry about them
Top of Head: I give myself permission
Eyebrow: It’s ok to look good
Side of Eye: It’s ok to BE good
Under the Eye: It’s ok to be smart
Under the Nose: I can allow my success
Chin: I have decided to enjoy feeling successful
Collarbone: I deserve success
Under the Arm: I deserve to feel safe
Top of Head: I have decided to allow myself to be successful

At this point, Mary recalled memories of feeling very uncomfortable if she didn’t eat. Her mom would become enraged and sharply criticize her.

Even though I undo my success in order to please mom, I deeply love and accept myself.
Even though it doesn’t feel safe to have a good eating day, I deeply and completely accept myself anyway and I’m open to forgiveness.
Even though I feel like I have to eat or mom will be mad, I love and accept myself anyway.

Eyebrow: I have to eat
Side of Eye: I have to get something
Under the Eye: Or mom will be mad
Under the Nose: I don’t want to be criticized
Chin: I feel like I have to eat
Collarbone: It’s uncomfortable if I don’t eat
Under the Arm: I have to please mom
Top of Head: She’s be mad if I lose weight
Eyebrow: I can’t let that happen
Side of Eye: I have to undo it
Under the Eye: I have to get something to eat even if I’m not hungry
Under the Nose: I am open to creating a new story
Chin: Mom can’t even see me now
Collarbone: She doesn’t even know if I’m eating or not
Under the Arm: I can now start to see myself as being successful AND feeling good
Top of Head: It’s ok to be successful without feeling guilty

What occurred to me during this session is how important it is to love and accept ourselves, and how hard it can be if the key people in our lives aren’t accepting us the way we are. The opposite of self-sabotage is ‘allowing,’ and in order to be successful, we need to ‘allow’ it. It seems simple and makes sense logically, but the “writing on our walls” often gets in the way. EFT can clear these stubborn blocks, which can thwart people for decades.

After this 1 session, Mary began to steadily lose weight; she went from a size 16 to a size 10 over the next 3 months. She noticed other significant changes as well. Mary had always felt guilty for the ease in which she filled her therapy practice. She had been giving away her best referrals to her female colleagues “to make it up to them.” After this session, she no longer felt she had to take care of them. She stopped giving away her best referrals, and began to enjoy her well-deserved success without feeling guilty. She also received an unexpected acknowledgment in the forward of a book that was published. She was pleasantly surprised that she was able to take pride in and enjoy her work being recognized.

With love and gratitude,
Carol Solomon, Ph.D. MCC

EFT for Weight Loss: Freedom At Your Fingertips

It was great fun to write a chapter on EFT for weight loss in the book, "Freedom At Your Fingertips." To celebrate the 1-year anniversary of our book, YOU have a chance to win fun (and valuable) prizes, when you purchase the book from the Freedom at Your Fingertips website. My chapter focuses on overcoming and eliminating self-sabotage, and there are lots of other cool chapters, including EFT for Anxiety, stress, sports performance, pain management and more. Take a look!

Emotional Freedom Techniques for Self-Sabotage

Emotional Freedom Techniques can be used to help you stop sabotaging yourself. You can tap on this problem directly ("Even though I sabotage myself, I deeply and completely accept myself")

Or you can tap on the beliefs and fears that cause you to sabotage your efforts. ("Even though I think this will never work for me, . . .") If part of you *thinks* it will never work, you are more vulnerable to sabotaging yourself.

This is such an important topic that I have included full chapters on self-sabotage in both Lose Weight With EFT and More Money with EFT.