I teach a 3-week teleclass on “EFT for Weight Loss.” On the first call, I have people bring food to the call, so we can tap for cravings in the moment. After the first round, almost everyone’s craving was down, except 1 woman, who I’ll call “Jannie.”
Jannie was tapping on her craving for ice cream, although she didn’t bring it to the call because “unless someone delivered it as I dialed in, I would have eaten it the minute it came in the house!”
We tapped for cravings:
Even though I have this craving, I deeply and completely accept myself.
Even though I really want this food right now, I deeply accept myself with compassion and grace.
Even though I have this urge to eat, I choose to find a new and surprising way to manage the craving.
EB: this craving
SE: this craving
UE: this craving
UN: this craving
CH: this craving
CB: this craving
UA: this craving
TH: this craving
Her craving went from a 10 to a 2. But she was still worried that if someone put a bowl of ice cream in front of her, she would eat it, or that the craving could be triggered again in a stressful situation.
So we tapped more:
Even though I don’t quite want to let it go, I deeply and completely accept myself.
Even though I’m afraid I’ll still want it, I love and accept myself anyway.
Even though I have these cravings that are triggered by stress, I choose to know I can manage it.
Even though I want things I think I shouldn’t have, I choose to love and believe in myself.
EB: these cravings
SE: triggered by stress
UE: I can’t quite release it
UN: I’m still hanging on
CH: It’s triggered by stress
CB: I’m afraid I might still want it
UA: I don’t quite trust it yet
TH: I choose to believe in myself
Between the 1st and 2nd call, Jannie did buy a quart of ice cream. It stayed in her refrigerator for 12 hours (11 hours and 59 minutes longer than usual!) When she opened it, she just ate the cherries out and threw the rest away. She hasn’t purchased any since and has no desire to get any.
On the 3rd call, we tapped for specific events. Jannie came up with 5 events that had an emotional charge. These specific events all occurred when she was between 7 – 15 years old. They all had to do with her parents and with her being denied something. She picked “my mother eating ice cream every evening after dinner and I was not allowed any.”
Jannie’s mother was a 105 lb., 5’2″ extremely beautiful woman who took very good care of herself and her home. She loved ice cream, so every evening she’d go to the freezer, pile (mound, actually) the ice cream in her salad bowl-sized dish and curl up at the end of the sofa and eat it slowly bite by bite.
Jannie was not allowed to have any, ever–because she was a chubby kid and early adolescent and “Jannie doesn’t get sweets” was a house rule.
This is a great example of what was written on Jannie’s walls about ice cream. At some point in her life, Jannie made a decision, based on her interpretation of these childhood experiences. She described it in her letter to me following the class:
“When I decide to get ice cream, I always tell myself “I deserve it”– not as a reward–just I deserve it. I never could figure this out because I am someone who is actually more humble than this and hugely grateful for my life and all I have been given….
Carol, this is phenomenal for me—it finally makes sense, perfect sense actually. I did deserve it when those energies were stuck in the denial from my mother. When I tapped through all those issues around ice cream: being denied, feeling I deserved it, that I could have it anytime I wanted it, accepting my mother for who she was able to be and loving her anyway, I felt a great relief. I am at ZERO now with ice cream. And what I love most of all is that it finally makes sense to me!
I remembered she always had gallons of ice cream around as well as all kinds of candy–I wondered why I didn’t just go eat all that stuff anyway (I was not an obedient child). Then I remembered (funny, I had forgotten) my parents had a lock on the freezer and a cupboard with a padlock in the kitchen with her goodies to keep me out!
So it occurred to me: why have I never chowed down on all of those things all the time since I left home and have the freedom to do so? My eating is typically very healthy (I never have anything in the house that is tempting to me) and I am 20 lb. overweight but this is more due to orthopedic injuries though the years from exercise and now the hormonal mid-life middle than poor eating.
In class #1, you said to me that I needed to trust myself. That resonated because, although I do really well, I strategically and stringently set up my environment to keep temptations out–always.
So my next revelation is: goodies locked up by my parents . . . I cannot be trusted, but I love all those goodies, so I essentially “lock up” all the goodies I’d love because I don’t trust myself. So when you said I needed to trust myself I actually felt your words in my heart right then and now that I’ve figured it out, I feel such peace in knowing I can trust myself.
So Carol, this has been amazing for me and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. What I find with you is your insights and words bring normalcy to me and you make beautiful sense and connections and I feel all this so profoundly.
I thank you so much Carol for pursuing this with me–I just read that victims will feel a sense of entitlement–and that resonates with me…in thinking “I deserve this ice cream! Wow!”
In a 4-month follow up, Jannie wrote to say that her results have held up, even under stressful circumstances. She tapped one more time, 2 weeks after the class ended. She writes “I must tell you that ice cream is so far out of the picture for me now. The true test has been my husband needing surgery and me needing “something” for comfort–ice cream never even crossed my mind! I’ve been happily choosing berries, cherries and grapes instead! This is an absolute miracle!!! Thank you, thank you!”
With love and gratitude,
Carol Solomon, Ph.D. EFT Cert-1